I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize