What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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