Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize