Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

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(936): Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas.... http://tfl.nu/nx5u

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(207): View more from Maine

The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

(207): View more from Maine

welcome to maine.

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(207): The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade. (207): welcome to maine. http://tfl.nu/bd8m

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(425): View more from Washington

he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"

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(425): he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!" http://tfl.nu/83kf

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(803): View more from South Carolina

worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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(803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48

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(480): View more from Arizona

he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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(480): he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug http://tfl.nu/z2q2

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(563): View more from Iowa

The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.

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(563): The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/t1x0

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(909): View more from California

don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.

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(909): don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me. http://tfl.nu/8txy

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.

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(+64): And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/yu5v

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(210): View more from Texas

Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...

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(210): Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend... http://tfl.nu/o37o

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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(913): I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms. (1-913): So you know, I'm making that my facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4s8l

Replies (24) Good night (7620) Bad night (1053)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco

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(414): ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco http://tfl.nu/xqa3

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(863): View more from Florida

And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

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(863): And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/3986

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(281): View more from Texas

Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.

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(281): Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'. http://tfl.nu/zfmg

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(678): View more from Georgia

Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?

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(678): Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail? http://tfl.nu/41r0

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(693): View more from

You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml

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(693): You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml http://tfl.nu/qfop

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