I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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