By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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