She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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