do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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