he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...