So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.