Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
