garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
