Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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