Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
