i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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