But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
