i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup