mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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