You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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