booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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