Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize