Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
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