i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want to make out with him forever
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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