Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
