her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize