I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Where did you get a picture of my penis
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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