I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Your penis caused this!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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