I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwadâ€
Randomize
