No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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