The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
