Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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