Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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