She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
