Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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