i love accidental penises.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
