i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.