Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen