I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked