Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
