Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.