Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

  (720): View more from Colorado

  yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

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  (858): i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume.. (720): yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures http://tfl.nu/ebwm
  Replies (7) Good night (3012) Bad night (598)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...

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  (425): So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod... http://tfl.nu/hp9q
  Replies (65) Good night (7488) Bad night (1336)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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  (618): Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again http://tfl.nu/9mpp
  Replies (34) Good night (6447) Bad night (841)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird

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  (210): they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird http://tfl.nu/vuhd
  Replies (11) Good night (6201) Bad night (1565)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.

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  (479): I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting. http://tfl.nu/hwr8
  Replies (14) Good night (4919) Bad night (903)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2331) Bad night (792)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.

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  (817): then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand. http://tfl.nu/4p59
  Replies (6) Good night (1346) Bad night (983)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.

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  (402): I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign. http://tfl.nu/14vr
  Replies (1) Good night (1825) Bad night (762)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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  (406): She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that http://tfl.nu/d627
  Replies (4) Good night (1861) Bad night (591)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to

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  (703): We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to http://tfl.nu/xfm2
  Replies (7) Good night (1850) Bad night (476)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops

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  (908): Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops http://tfl.nu/wq2e
  Replies (7) Good night (2447) Bad night (368)
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  (707): View more from California

  Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.

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  (707): Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend. http://tfl.nu/wf6o
  Replies (6) Good night (1025) Bad night (324)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I put xanax in the cake batter

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Did you really? It all makes sense now.

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  (201): I put xanax in the cake batter (1-201): Did you really? It all makes sense now. http://tfl.nu/asjy
  Replies (14) Good night (978) Bad night (332)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'

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  (443): SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK' http://tfl.nu/77su
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (278)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

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  (561): Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her. http://tfl.nu/tvor
  Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (582)

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