if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
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What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.