We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
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Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.