he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
seriously i just wanna be friends
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.