i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.