Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize