guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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