apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
