Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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