i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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