i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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