beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
