upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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