I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures