I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird