Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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