he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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