I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.