i wish my penis had a tongue
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Two words: blizzard sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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