Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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  (313): My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God http://tfl.nu/eo8x
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

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  (678): How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart? http://tfl.nu/us70
  Replies (22) Good night (1392) Bad night (5715)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

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  (314): I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate. http://tfl.nu/fw6h
  Replies (12) Good night (2642) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?

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  (785): Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference? http://tfl.nu/d4sd
  Replies (7) Good night (1865) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on

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  (812): Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on http://tfl.nu/glb4
  Replies (4) Good night (1472) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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  (+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e
  Replies (10) Good night (2267) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!

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  (203): I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?! http://tfl.nu/b8ik
  Replies (11) Good night (1194) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Every concussion has its silver lining

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  (909): Every concussion has its silver lining http://tfl.nu/a47p
  Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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  (864): Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you. http://tfl.nu/kfw2
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out

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  (765): i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out http://tfl.nu/3iy5
  Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.

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  (570): Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan. http://tfl.nu/akru
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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  (443): Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone http://tfl.nu/3q0e
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.

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  (229): I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals. http://tfl.nu/jhab
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.

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  (707): I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible. http://tfl.nu/8qmq
  Replies (7) Good night (870) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub

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  (518): Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub http://tfl.nu/h3vj
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (235)

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