using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?