Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?

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  (610): Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants? http://tfl.nu/1myu
  Replies (33) Good night (2180) Bad night (4728)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk

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  (918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk http://tfl.nu/q4ib
  Replies (14) Good night (4856) Bad night (812)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would

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  (405): i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would http://tfl.nu/ua94
  Replies (7) Good night (3881) Bad night (896)
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  (714): View more from California

  It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time

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  (714): It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time http://tfl.nu/v4kt
  Replies (32) Good night (1906) Bad night (5227)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.

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  (407): I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame. http://tfl.nu/841f
  Replies (5) Good night (3691) Bad night (896)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock

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  (812): This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock http://tfl.nu/gdx6
  Replies (17) Good night (1007) Bad night (5097)
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  (209): View more from California

  Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something

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  (209): Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something http://tfl.nu/htcf
  Replies (23) Good night (1087) Bad night (3476)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.

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  (201): This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag. http://tfl.nu/iwnq
  Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (1296)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"

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  (631): I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good" http://tfl.nu/jrza
  Replies (13) Good night (1916) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  cocks speak louder than words, as they say

  (914): View more from New York

  Nobody says that.

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  (207): cocks speak louder than words, as they say (914): Nobody says that. http://tfl.nu/ymrk
  Replies (8) Good night (1916) Bad night (654)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?

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  (920): My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls? http://tfl.nu/f946
  Replies (9) Good night (1560) Bad night (897)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.

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  (757): Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change. http://tfl.nu/iak2
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (477)
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  (714): View more from California

  someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.

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  (714): someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults. http://tfl.nu/sjq2
  Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5

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  (941): It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5 http://tfl.nu/f2uj
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (718)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...

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  (606): Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ... http://tfl.nu/m8gv
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (203)

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