Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.