Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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  (215): He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI http://tfl.nu/4msy
  Replies (30) Good night (1827) Bad night (4399)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?

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  (312): I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse? http://tfl.nu/9r6j
  Replies (37) Good night (985) Bad night (9719)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.

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  (208): My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat. http://tfl.nu/4rv6
  Replies (9) Good night (8410) Bad night (1128)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

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  (201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american http://tfl.nu/02ni
  Replies (194) Good night (3133) Bad night (15768)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me

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  (617): She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me http://tfl.nu/0bof
  Replies (4) Good night (1438) Bad night (3259)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.

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  (214): Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2. http://tfl.nu/7wyo
  Replies (7) Good night (2345) Bad night (733)
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  (209): View more from California

  come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground

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  (209): come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground http://tfl.nu/qcj8
  Replies (13) Good night (887) Bad night (2374)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

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  (602): You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up. http://tfl.nu/1td0
  Replies (4) Good night (2017) Bad night (1377)
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  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min

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  (775): He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min http://tfl.nu/44lr
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (772)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.

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  (907): Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig. http://tfl.nu/jc5y
  Replies (6) Good night (1053) Bad night (966)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1235) Bad night (424)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  It was awful. He had a wife

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.

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  (778): It was awful. He had a wife (1-778): And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself. http://tfl.nu/g9e8
  Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.

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  (615): Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car. http://tfl.nu/1hto
  Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (384)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.

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  (773): I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose. http://tfl.nu/dyi2
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (256)

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